What you answer vs. the truth [trigger warning]

There is a lot of cursing here because, today, we’re not taking hostages. No, as in- This post is the “most” of this my blog. I think. Skip over if you need to, I respect that. Otherwise, can we just be honest? Also, if you don’t relate, that’s okay. Like. It is okay.

Everyday Questions

You look uncomfortable, are you okay?

Answer: Yea, it’s just a hot day

Truth: I shaved. Honey. I shaved.

              So, how are you today?

Answer: Good, good, you?

Truth: I am out of bed. Make this worthwhile. Thanks.

So, what have you been up to?

Answer: Oh, just work and a couple of things, you?

Truth: I’m sorry, was there something more important you wanted to give me to do that generates revenue and I don’t have to sell my soul?

How’s work going?

Answer: It’s alright. I thank God I get to work from home.

Truth: If I write one more article about this shit, I’ll lose my mind. As in, btw I need a drink.

Relationships

How’s the family?

Answer: They are good, we can’t complain.

Truth: They are alive. I see them once every 12-24 hours. Sooner, someone is sick or dead. So that initial timeline is good news.

How is your “husband”?

Answer: Who?

Truth: No, really, who?

Will you get back together?

Answer: You know in life-

Truth: Take me to rehab when that happens. I’d have started hard drags since those weren’t pom poms. They were red flags.

You are lazy.

Answer: Aki, I am not. It’s just-

Truth: You’re not a T Rex. I don’t need to make your coffee, lunch, and dinner. You were doing that JUST fine by yourself. If my kitchen skills are what is adding value to us… No. Also, one of us is more self-aware because we don’t compensate with work and money. How ARE you doing?

You know men are meant to be polygamous

Answer: So I hear.

Truth: I’ll get a dog. Contrary to the belief “men are dogs,” these canines are loyal. Men ain’t.

You don’t respect your parents.

Answer: No, it’s not like that, it is-

Truth: My parents are self-aware, respectful, and open to dialogue on different topics like, you know, about their parenting. How are you confused that I am similar? Don’t project. Pris. Thanks. You deal with your closed-off, traditional parents who refute your humanity and state, “you should be obedient children” and leave me out of it. I am sorry, but don’t rope me into your affairs.

(If you’ve followed my blog, you will applaud these incredible parents looking to be better HUMANS. Anything else, just-just.)

Womanhoood

When are you having children?

Answer: I don’t know if I want kids, but you know, you never know.

Truth: You entitled ***** ** ****. How the FUCK is my uterus, and what it can produce a matter for you to be involved in? Excuse me; my parents are okay with not getting grandchildren from me. So again, you ***** ** ****. Who are you???? (To my future mother-in-law, if you don’t understand this concept but your son does: who are you? Is you by body?)

Sidebar: I am outspoken because of my family. Or vice versa: I have always been outspoken. They support me all the way (after intense conversations), and I am SO thankful. But can we also just have a conversation about how parents offer up their children (girls) to RUBBISH mothers-in-law and men for the “sake of society”? Body, spirit, and soul. Can we? CAN WE???)

Are you investing?

Answer: Not yet; I am weighing my options.

Truth: When your portfolio looks jealous-worthy, let’s talk. But also, my sanity is more important than wealth. I’m sorry, is that so hard to believe? Broke is also okay; I’ll just sleep more so I don’t spiral.

Women are more empowered than a boy child.

Answer: Yea, I’ve heard that argument. I am not sure-

Truth: This bullshit patriarchy nonsense. You neglected those with penises like you, and now it is MY fault with a vagina that I am not a little bitch like your sons? (Fucking sue me for that. You allowed yourself to raise “punk-ass man” and raised “boss-ass women,” and you as the man and father/uncle are complaining?? Many men are trash; it is why the rest of us women decided “single” won’t kill us. I have an entire clan to show for single women doing their thing. You don’t threaten me. Penis tu? And babies. That’s all you have to offer? FUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKKKK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF)

But there are nice men. Until then, I speak my current truth.  

You are so sensitive

Answer: I have been told.

Truth: And you are a brick of wall. Another name for “brick wall” is an insensitive asshole. Please, continue.

Loosen up.

Answer: But I am. Why do you take me seriously?

Truth: Fucking hell, I have to take care of your fragile masculinity because I feel unsafe to outwardly say “no,” “Your advances are shit,” and “I am paying MY bill?” Thanks. Predator.

You are difficult.

Answer: I have heard that also.

Truth: But you’re also kind of like a bitch. I mean, I am threatening your masculinity? Hata wewe. You don’t have to be around me. It’s fine.

You are aggressive.

Answer: Yes, so I hear.

Truth: I am abrasive. But when you feel it, call me teacher. You felt it for a reason.

You know, as a woman-

Answer: Yea, tell me more.

Truth: Erm, womanhood, and personality are not synonymous. Sorry, is a woman an individual or a generally homogenous species with nothing more to them, like frogs? And even then-

I think they are better ways to put across what you put on your blog.

Answer: Okay, I understand; help me know what you don’t like.

Truth: Ah, I get where you are coming from; let me work on that / Well, you are not my audience. Si bye?

It would be best if you thought about other people when you talk as you do.

Answer: You are right.

Truth: You are right. But it’s my time. Circle back in a while.

But I bought you booze.

Answer: You did.

Truth: You did. Bitch. Anything else you want to do to show you can’t get consensual sex? You depraved piece of shit?

Cheers, and fuck typos.

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