The voices in your head

Therapy works.

Moving on.

I’ve been seeing a counselor for more than a year now, and I realize that most of the voices in my head were other people’s voices that I had internalized.

I’ve had an incredibly good week where I have nothing to complain or be sad about, all thanks to the unpacking of the negative voices in my life. I realize that they come in the subtlest of ways, and from the most unlikely people. For me, I realize that I generally come from a toxic clan, and as I continued to seek therapy, I realized that a lot of my insecurities and pains come from them. The rest is just my foolishness.

So before you think you are crazy, or believe the voices in your head, look at the people around you. What are they saying about you? Is there a similarity with your inner voice?

Beloved, you’re not a horrible human being. Someone made you believe you are and you lived up to their ideal.

Find your way back to the true you.


“I wish I was that dog” and other thoughts

Have you ever looked at a bird, monkey lazing around in a zoo, a slothing cat meme, a baby or other creatures (😁) and thought to yourself, “I wish I was that __”?

If not, you’re free to leave. Clearly we don’t share the same wavelength of life 🤪.

That was me this morning when I was in a matatu heading for my classes. Adult learning is just something else. I had snoozed the alarm, struggled to get out of bed, and even had my mother pray for me because the levels of “I DON’T WANNA!!” were so high I thought I was in the wrong career path.

Like perhaps my calling was to stay in bed for ever and ever, wasting away… and drifting off into the afterlife where things are perhaps better than this life…

Yes, I was having a depressive episode.

Now that the day is coming to an end, I no longer feel like that. I was walking home listening to jams after seeing my friend and her new born baby in hospital and when I began to wonder what was wrong with me in the morning.

Heck, I even walked past my ex’s house when he’d just driven in and I felt no inclination to call out a greeting or give him a call. Jesus heals I tell you! 🥳

What’s the point of this post?

Your feelings are valid, but they need to be overruled if you’re to rip the good things in life. Next time you’re wishing your were something or someone else, just say a ‘noted’ to that thought and continue about your life, ensuring you’re doing the big and small things to make it the best.

That said, all the best. I’m saying this after stopping life and spending two days in bed because depression.🙈

Image result for cough cough gif


This too shall pass.


“and that was the last time we talked” and other stories

There is this one guy, at midnight, sent a message saying “I’m so horny”. His profile picture was his son. And that was the last time we talked. #FromFriendZoneToFuckOffZone

There is this other guy, he told me he wanted to make me his blanket. That was the last time we hang out. #NoThanks

There is this other ninja who told me his girlfriend goes through his phone. I thought it was a joke and called to talk about why his earlier statement about Africans being stupid is problematic. He didn’t pick but she called me back, using his phone. That was the last time I had any form of respect for this ninja. #WeakAssHuman

There was this other time, my friend’s girlfriend read our messages about random ish, and now I am apparently the reason why they have issues in their relationship? #IKnowIAmFlyButGirl #HeLovesYouBitch

And then there was this one guy, who dumped me before we even started dating. That was the last time I told a guy that I like them first.

There was this other guy that only called me during the weekends. I told him I was with my boyfriend all weekend that is why I couldn’t pick his calls. And that was the last time he text. #Phew

There was this other married guy I was having a conversation with at the hotel bar, and he kept looking back because he expected his wife to show up. I have him my number (I block people like a hobby), and then he told me to send him a photo. That was the last time we talked. (here I was thinking I could have connections to the World Bank.)

And then there’s this ratchet guy, he asked my cousin if she fucks campus kids. He soon found out the answer (I had to throw that in. Worst pickup like ever!)

There was this other guy, who has a wife and two kids, and he asked me to be his girlfriend because he loves me. And now my anthem is “I refuse to be the other woman!” #MarriageCounsellingIsImportant

And also there’s this guy, we haven’t talked for perhaps three years, and after spotting me in my neighborhood, he thought we had a future. I got blue ticked when I emphasized “kuna venye…”

And then there’s this boyfriend of mine, who after an argument, told me he had struggled me and buried me in his dreams. Now you’re good.

And yes, today is the day that no fucks were giving.